I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
