Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book