what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.