OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im six kinds of drunk right now
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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