I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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