So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
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We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
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I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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