is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
