So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
