Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
