I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
