I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
