every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
