Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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