We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
