i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
