I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
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