He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
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Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
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There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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