did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
