how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
