And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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