I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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