If that was your dad, he is hot
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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