I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
