She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
