I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
