It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
