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Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
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