So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.