shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
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Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country