i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..