You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize