i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
