theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
