Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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