here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize