every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
