Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
