i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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