all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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