the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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