First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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