Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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