Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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