Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
