I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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