ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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