I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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