I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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