As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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