i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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