there's paper in my vomit.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
