Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
