Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize