i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
