his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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