You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
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