I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
