Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
