I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
