what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize