You're my little dorito
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
