You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
