Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
