think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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