all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
