you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
