Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
