Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
