just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
