No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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